Snippets

I'd like to report that all went smoothly but....

The surgery went well, just as planned it was the recovery that was rocky. Tom received steroids before surgery. He was doing fine until he had trouble in recovery. His stats were awful. His blood pressure plummeted and had difficulty breathing. This went on for hours. I reminded them that he would probably need more steroids, they had it charted to give him a shot before leaving the hospital but I told them he needed them now... not later. After what felt like a lifetime, about 5 hrs he was able to keep O2 stats above 90% and his blood pressure stabilized.

A week later he is back to work and doing well. It is now all behind us and it's onward and upward.

The man that won my heart so many years ago is having surgery to remove his gall bladder tomorrow. It is a pretty basic proceedure but... Tom has CAH (Congenital Adrenal Hyperplasia). This can severly complicate the surgery itself and his recovery. He takes high doses of different steriods, they keep his adrenal glands functioning as near normal as possible for him.

Tom (pictured on the left) and his brother.

I have nearly lost him too many times. It has been difficult. The first time was in his twenties, we were both so young and a life filled with possibilities. He was honorably discharged from the Air Force. This was hard as he had planned it to be a career. This left him with a disability that affects him daily.

He is such a wonderful support to me, loving and kind. We do clash at times as we were both raised on differing sides of the of the Mason Dixon line. He is from the mid south, Missippi to be exact, me well, home is a farm in Pennsylvania. It can be a very interesting marriage at times.

I worry about him, will his body hold up to the stress of surgery, what about recovery and then home recovery. How many extra steriod shots will he need to keep from going into shock. Lord willing he will be home later tomorrow night to my care. I pray for no complications, I need my eternal partner here in this life!

Dulie, Wife to Tom, my Mighty Viking!

I can't stand to fly
I'm not that naive
I'm just out to find
The better part of me

I'm more than a bird:I'm more than a plane
More than some pretty face beside a train
It's not easy to be me

Wish that I could cry
Fall upon my knees
Find a way to lie
About a home I'll never see

It may sound absurd:but don't be naive
Even Heroes have the right to bleed
I may be disturbed:but won't you conceed
Even Heroes have the right to dream
It's not easy to be me

Up, up and away:away from me
It's all right:You can all sleep sound tonight
I'm not crazy:or anything:

I can't stand to fly
I'm not that naive
Men weren't meant to ride
With clouds between their knees

I'm only a man in a silly red sheet
Digging for kryptonite on this one way street
Only a man in a funny red sheet
Looking for special things inside of me

It's not easy to be me.

Just an hour ago I was heading for a major panic attack. My heart was racing, I couldn't fix it all. I was trying to figure out how on earth this week was going to work and all survive. How was I not going to crumble... I know many would just say, let everyone take care of themselves... We, I don't work that way. We are a family that reaches out to each other.

I stood on the deck in the sun watching Paisley pace, waiting for her labor to start. I was mulling and getting anxious trying to make it all happen. Then clear as day I heard the words in my head... "ASK". "Ask who," I thought... "ASK" came again... I stood trying to figure out what "ASK" meant so I thought okay, I'll say a prayer. After I poured my heart out, praying that I'll be able to do it all, I ended my prayer. WEll, I didn't feel better. Then the impression came again, "ASK". I muttered under my breath, "Ask what"... "Ask Who!"

I had the phone in my hand and started dialing my friend whom I rarely see. We had gone to lunch last week after months of not seeing her. I hung up I didn't want to burden her and we had just started planning to see each other again more often. I started to dail her cell again. I knew she was at work and probably wouldn't pick up. I didn't even know what to say... I just knew I had to call.

As I talked with her she helped me make arrangements that needed made. She comforted me about other things and we shared a nice conversation afterward.

In the end...

I didn't need the meds, I ASKED and I've been blessed. I feel so at peace. I can finish this day. I will be thanking the Lord for my blessings and am again aware that he knows of my needs and if I ASK a way will be made for those things that need more than me...